Wednesday, April 18, 2012


      A List of Things I'm Looking Forward to About Getting Home.

       In no particular order...

  • Wearing shorts, tee shirts, and sandals again, everyday. 
  • Also my heels... My beautiful heels....
  • Trips to the beach with the besties!
  • Checking things off our bucket list.
  • Sleeping in my own bed with Porky. I miss that guy...
  • Buying a pet turtle. It's been something like three years since my hamster died. I think it's time to move on...
  • Cleaning up the beach and washing cars with the Student Council.
  • Doing this to my hair. :)
  • Baking again! My pinterest is covered in recipes that I've been dying to try for the past 3 weeks. Also thinking of trying some baking with amaranth flour. 
  • Easier access to Caffeine (It's that revered that it requires capitalization of the first letter.)
  • Some relaxed summer wardrobe shopping.
  • Finding out what play I'll be spending my summer rehearsing and performing.
  • Getting back to running every morning, and working out my arms and abs with my buddies. I want a 4-pack!!
  • Being able to blast my music while doing boring tasks.
  • Smashing all my junk from this trip into my Smash Book.
  • Wednesday nights at Palm Valley.
  • Leaving home again for SC camp at Mo Ranch!

Sunday, April 8, 2012

It started out as the sound a bird makes

Sometimes I just sit back and realize how much I love my life.
It's not perfect and it never will be.
But I'm so blessed with a knowledge of God and am surrounded with people who love me.

There will always be those who are rude and mean and just plain don't give a darn about anyone else.

To them I say, I'm sorry.

I don't know what your life is like.
I don't why you are the way you are.
Maybe you've had it rough.
We all have.
I'll do whatever I can to be a friend.
But I am choosing not to let your rudeness and careless actions change the way I look at my life and my relationships with others.

I am very fortunate.
I always know that if I look hard enough I can find someone who cares about me and who will listen.
I don't know if you have that...
So I'm trying to cut you some slack.
I don't know what to think of you.
I don't which of your words to believe.

So I guess I'm saying in a way that I'm done with you.
Because trust is the foundation that this life of mine is built upon.
And I don't trust you.
I don't trust you at all.
You've screwed me over just a few too many times.
You're out of chances.

At any point over the past ten months you could have had me.
If you would have pulled it together, I was as good as yours.

There are three words, all monosyllables, that I've denied over and over again.
Partially because I am confused.
But I finally admitted to myself that those three words were true.
It seems such a waste that the honor would go to you.
Unfortunately those words might still be true.
I hope that they fade and I hope that you do too.

But there's still that nagging feeling that, you and I?
We're not quite through.

And in some ways that makes me happy and in a lot of ways that makes me sad.
Leading to this confused state that follows me from state to state.
2000 miles, 3  1/2 miles, makes no difference.
It's not worth the effort.
My surroundings are so different, inside my head it's so the same.
Vegetarianism can be a lonely lane.

So at this point there's not a lot left to say.

It's 3 in the morning my time, it's 2 where you lay.
Your  voice is a distant memory, your voicemail is nothing like you sound today.
So I guess I lost control again.
And I guess I don't care enough to get it back.
Today is a holiday, so I guess that I'll pretend not to wait.
We'll see, I guess, what becomes of us, but we'll be coming separately.
That's the one guard rail to which I will concede.

As for everything else I guess we'll jump off the cliff and see.
But I've got a feeling that you've got a parachute and I've got a pair of floaties.